What is Attachment?

The caregiver-child attachment relationship is a biologically-driven system that forms over time, particularly within the first two to three years of life. In situations like foster care or adoption, the formation of an attachment may begin on the first day of being united with a new caregiver. Attachments may be secure or insecure (and sometimes disordered), but most importantly, attachments are fluid. They can change with changes in the consistency of responses from the caregiver. The child develops the attachment with the caregiver, not the other way around. Caregivers “bond” with children. That is, they develop strong feelings of possessiveness, protectiveness, and responsibility for the wellbeing of a child. The quality of attachment a child develops depends upon many things. For example, a child who has had many attachment disruptions or broken attachments will struggle in forming new attachments with perfectly acceptable caregivers. It is very difficult as a caregiver to realize that no matter how hard you try, some children resist forming attachments because they do not trust that you will not abandon them as others have done. A caregiver’s own attachment style most certainly impacts their own parenting style, thus impacting the child’s attachment. Research supports a strong correlation in a caregiver’s attachment (from their own childhood) and the type of attachment their own children develop with them. Many other factors may impact attachment, most are nobody’s fault, but nonetheless impact the health of the attachment. Children and adults with healthy attachment tend to be more successful in school, at work, in friendships, and all other relationships because attachment is directly related to self-regulation. Those who have the capacity to self-regulate are able to function at a higher capacity than those who struggle with self-regulation. Stay tuned for more about Attachment as I take you through the ABCs of Attachment.